For the Love of God III: Friend

Friends are the family you choose.  I like that saying.  I think we all have had a friend in our life- whether they be mere acquaintances, to those life long best friends.  I want to focus on the close ones.  The people or person who  you could share anything with about everything and absolutely nothing. The frivolous fears, the deep dreams, the whispered wishes, and silly heart felt moments one can open up to another about.  I'm talking about that best friend, the person who knows your looks, who understands your humor, who can almost finish your thoughts, but in a not so creepy way.  Your best friend, your confidant.  The pal who is there for you, who listens to you, who encourages and keeps your feet planted firm on the ground. The bearer of your burdens, the keeper of your secrets and well wisher of your dreams- your best bud.  Guess what?  God wants to be that for you too!

God wants to be your friend.  The bearer of your burdens, the keeper of your secrets and well wisher of your dreams- your best bud. He wants to be that person you run to.  Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden upon the Lord and He shall sustain you; He shall never allow the righteous to be moved.  So many of us think that God is too far off or foreign to our daily (what we see as piddly) moments in life.  Well, that's wrong, so wrong.  God aches for us to come to Him, to share with Him and have fellowship.  Psalm 140:17-18 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number that the sand, when I awake, I am still with you.  Even when we think so little of ourselves- there is someone who thinks of us more than we can count!  We have the best cheer-leader encouraging us.  He thinks we are or can be pretty great if we walk and abide in Him.  Genesis 29:15 And Behold, I am with you, and will keep you in all places wherever you go, and will bring you again into this land, for I will not leave you...

Here's a thought:  are you a good friend to God?  I mean really you know you have that friend that only comes to you with their problems, who needs only to gain something from you.  Those emotional vampires that suck your time and energy trying to gain advice or counsel without even taking the time to invest anything in you other than what they can benefit from.  Well, are you that way with God?  The only time you think about Him is when you whip out a prayer for this or that?  To ask for this? To get help on that? Then the conversation is only one way and is lacking.  God wants to be more than a genii.  Don't get me wrong He loves to bless people with gifts, but He wants to give us so much more!  

He wants to saturate and be involved in our daily lives. He wants to be the first to be thought of in all circumstances- the good, the bad and the ugly.  It's hard to grasp that an omnipotent and omnipresent God wants to be invited first.  But that's part of who He is.  He's not overbearing, aloof, condescending, or unreliable.  In fact He's that exact opposite.  Job 29:4 Oh, for the days when I was in my prime, when God’s intimate friendship blessed my house.  He's intimate in his friendships. 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon Him, For He cares for you. He's genuine.  Isaiah 26:4 Trust you in the Lord for ever, for in the Lord is everlasting strength.  He's reliable.  John 15:13 Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.  He's the most loving friend


Proverbs 18:24 A man that has friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.  I think He fits the description. 

"Lord, thank you for being my friend and help me to be a better friend to You." Amen

For the Love of God: Part II Brother

The love of a brother, in this case an actually sibling is a wonderful and complex relationship.  One I believe was molded from God.  Some are not lucky enough to have a sibling as being an only child, or perhaps wish they were an only child.  But there is something there in that tie between people that share the same parentage that has the reflective qualities of heaven. 

Not everyone likes their family, in this case siblings.  Some may have founded, arguable reasons.  But there is still an obligation.  There is still an obligation, a necessity to love the person (sibling) due to this intangible tie.  There may be rivalry.  Not endorsed in the Bible- but definitely acknowledged, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" Proverbs 17:17  However God wants cohesiveness and cooperation- "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" Psalm 133:1

I believe God wants unity.  Siblings are the first exposure to people who are not parents.  They are the beta testing for relationships in a peer setting.  There is a lot of psychological (some even scripture based) that emphasize the first interactions with siblings help mold future relationships.  We learn teamwork, encouragement, reasoning, and communication first from the people we dwell with.  Parents and siblings are the first encounters before the world outside the four walls of the home comes into play. 

With that said, how does this reflect God?  There are so many dysfunctional, fractured and wounded sibling relationships existing in the still more messed up family dynamics of today.  The original design is still there.  Strengths and weaknesses, teamwork, encouragement, and communication are all from God who has a purpose.  Almost everyone knows of the examples of sibling relationship gone bad to worse- Cain and Able the first to come to mind.  But I believe many miss the framework and original design of God.  Cain was the farmer of the fields and Able the farmer of the flocks.  One needs the other to survive and maintain- harvests feeds the flocks and the flocks feed the farmer who is then able to work the fields, and the cycle continues.  Teamwork was laid out with each strength to counter the others weakness.  We don't get a day by day glimpse of Cain and Able- but we know how the story tragically ends.  Sad- imagine if the teamwork came into play, the encouragement and communication that might have changed the whole scenario!  But that rivalry, that sin of self killed it.

Now how does this reflect God?  God is the strength for our weakness.  We are so easy to see our shortcomings- not realizing some of them are designed for us to learn from God.  God wants to work with us. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 He wants to encourage us "Have not I commanded you? be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go." Joshua 1:9  God wants to give these to us.  But to do so requires communication.  It requires daily dwelling in His presence as we would if we lived with our brother.    "Draw near to God and he will draw near to you..." James 4:8.

God wants to strengthen us.  He desires to work with us, in us and through us.  He can only give us the encouragement and strength is we communicate with Him.  He's sent the invitation: "Behold I stand at the door, and knock; if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him and he with Me." Revelations 3:23 All we have to do is let Him into our daily lives.

Lord, come and teach me to daily commune and live with you as I would a brother.  Allow me to learn that you are my peerless encourager and giver of strengths to over come my weaknesses. Amen 

for the Love of God...Part I: Daddy

God is love.

Such a simple statement. In reality though, love is so large, and so vast that we can't quite get the concept of God's love in comparison. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 1 Corithians 13:12. We only see love in different forms not realizing that they in turn reflect in whole a better view of God. What I mean is that God is not just one category of love. God's love is vast- I don't think our human minds can comprehend it in its entirety. But I think we catch glimpses of it in the relationships He has created in His reflection: love of a parent, love of a sibling, love of a friend and as a lover.

God the Father. There are many who do not know how a true father is meant to be. Whether there was no example to have or simply a father that failed to demonstrate his role as God intended- there is one who fullfills the role entirely for everyone.
A Father to the fatherless , a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling Psalm 68:5. A father represents a powerful facet of God and who He is. A father loves, protects, and teaches his children. The Father demostates this throughout the Bible in the story of Isreal- even claiming the nation as His children."There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place." Deuteronomy 1:31

He protected the Israelites.  He fought for them and He saved them multiple times throughout the Hebrew Testament.  And like a good father loved them despite their failures but educated them through consequences and discipline. "For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." Proverbs 3:12 Called His stubborn, stiff-necked people, God dealt out what may have seemed harsh discipline- but in the larger picture (the one God can see all of) the call was to bring forth the redemption of His love completely, through the Messiah Jesus.

Jesus spoke of God as His Father- even calling Him "abba" the affectionate equivalent to daddy. Jesus tried to explain how God the Father was throughout the Bible:
-Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17
-If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!Matthew 7:11
-How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!...1 John 3:1
There is so many more moments in the Bible that display how God is our Father and how He loves us.   He loves us, He loves you, and He loves me.  Amazingly a strong, gentle and protective Father, is just one facet, one layer of His complex desire to be in relationship with us.  This will have to do for now.  Another post to look at a another reflection of His love.

"Father God instruct me in Your ways that I may learn how to love like You." Amen

 

Escape into Obsession

Something my mind has been toying around with.  Escapism.  We all need a little break sometimes, a moment to decompress from the strains of day to day life, to literally escape from reality for a while.  I don't think there is anything too wrong with that- as I tend to find solace in a good book or movie.  The problem is when one does not return.  Or find any desire to.

Escapism is a dangerous habit.  Avoiding real problems and retreating from reality is a cooping method all too familiar today's world.  There are means everywhere and there is a audience grasping for it.  It is as old as time I think- romance harlequins have been around before my grandma's time, pornagraphy is perverted "art" form from as far back as ancient Egypt, and the list can go on and on into the current period with role playing games with quests for hours to forever focusing on the next instagram needed or facebook link to like.  All these things diverting us from dealing with our emotions, thoughts and relationships.

It's when obsession takes hold of us that the escape becomes a prison.  So many of the don't even see themselves separate from it or able to operate without it.  The obsession becomes your religion, your new god, your very own idol.  Thinking of it in such "archaic" terms may sound extreme.  May sound a little to preachy, but it's something that has been planted in my mind.  A warning for my own actions.

Escapism, obsession, or in another term fantasy, dulls the real experience and sets on up for failure and disappointment when focusing on selfish desires. We are not designed to be that way.  Not originally I think at least.  We have been given means to communicate- but many of us don't share honestly or listen wholeheartedly.  We are gifted with so many aspects, but fail to even share a morsel.  When speaking of we- I mean me. 

I know it sounds crazy, but I'll go ahead and type it out.  I have heart-to-hearts with God.  No- there is no beam of light from the heavens shining down on me, nor do I hear an audible thundering voice of the Almighty in that respect.  But in the quiet moments, I get the impression, the sense, the whisper to my heart that I honestly believe is from Him.  This particular topic, this very phrase was a warning for me.

My escapism was heading down the road to obsession.  My tendency was to shut my brain off and just veg with the latest book or whatever was on TV.  But I am to be "...capturing everything to the obedience of Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5  And how can I be doing that with my brain shut off?!  Not very well I can tell you.  What we put in our minds will affect us- even just vegging out and not truly given all our attention leaks in.  Some things are not truly bad at first- innocent enough- but so are weeds. One springs up a little green-sometimes an actual pretty flower- then in no time overwhelms and consumes and eventually destroys everything else around it.

That is similar to what escapism does when it grows into obsession.  It consumes till nothing else matters or exists.  Like I said before- a little break from time to time is not evil.  It it the tendency to rely solely on that mode of thinking that is dangerous and borderline idolatrous.  We can't usually deal with that method healthily.  It affects our thoughts, actions and even one's spirit.  I can't do it on my own and my best isn't gonna cut it.  But He can.  God knows all about those day to day struggles and inconveniences we face.  The things that chip away and damage not what feels like our minds but our souls.  He can help.  He wants to.  But He is too much of a gentleman to force one to take His healing.  He desires to be the one we think about throughout our day to be our balm against the bad things, and to cheer for us for the good things.  Unlike the weeds in our lives that oppress everything around them, God wants to be the ground cover the protects and enhances every square inch in the garden our hearts and life.

"Lord help to capture every thought to Your glory and learn to delight in my real life as you delight in me- Amen."

after the heart

I have a revelation a few weeks ago.  Let me explain.  I have been trying to get back to reading my bible more often (more than just Sundays when the pastor is giving his sermon points).  I picked up where I had broken off and to my delight I am in the books of Psalms.  Reading words penned by King David always makes my heart flutter a little.  A good portion of my favorite hymns are inspired if not taken verbatim from some of the most beautiful verses.  Truly emotional and soulful words.

Thinking upon that and reading some of the Psalms made me think how Kind David was a man after God's own heart.  And for the initial understanding of this, I thought it meant he was similar in his desire as the same as God's- striving for holiness and righteousness.  But then I thought of another interpretation.  Something that now makes just as much sense and beauty as the first.

King David was literally seeking and chasing after God's heart!  Reading the Psalms are like peeking into love letters he wrote to God.  Can you imagine being so enamored  and fully in love to be inspired to spout off poetry or sing at the top of your lungs?  God did that to David.  And what's amazing still- we do that to God!  That's what it's all about isn't it?  Pursuing God's love and immersing ourselves entirely into knowing and loving Him. 

"Lord help me to be after Your heart continually and write the words to our Love song- Amen"

talking to myself

Had a crazy interesting thought today: What would a conversation with my younger self be like?  I know not highly original, but bear with me.  You know how there have been songs, stories and even movies about going into the past to change something about your past.  This coupled with a reoccurring slogan of "be someone who you would like to meet", got me thinking.  How would me 10 year old self view me as I am now?  And thus begins this imaginary conversation in my head. 

I see myself back then- with an infectious shy smile, big stringy bangs and freckles, wearing skinny jeans (before they had that title- they were just jeans) and some baggy t-shirt with geometric design and matching head band (a must have back then). Me now- I lost the bangs, but still have the freckles but a more feminine smile.  My hair pulled back with a pom in the front, wearing office attire of pin-striped capri's, white sleeveless blouse and black strappy heels with matching belt.  I will have to start as I know 10 year old me is a little shy.

"Hi" I smile.

"...Hi. Do I know you?"

"Not yet, but I know you.  I'm you in 17 years."

The 10 year old's mouth drops open as she blinks the surprise from her eyes. "Nuh-hun, that's impossible! I can't look like that! You have glasses and your hair is darker....and...and..."

"I'm you. I know how you got that scar on your pointer finger cutting carrots to make stone soup in preschool.  I know all the names of your hook-ums stuffed animals and what happened to the squirrel one.  I know how you feel about bugs, and spiders and the dark, how they frighten you.  I know because I'm you.  Just older, just grown up." I wait for the truth to sink in.
After the initial shock  subsides, she gives me a quizzical look, "Ok. You're me. So what are you doing here?"

"I want to know if you like me.  If you like who you're going to be."

"That's sort of a strange thing to wonder about.  But OK.  Share some stuff about you, I mean us, I mean me....this is real-ly weird."

"What sort of stuff?  I can't tell you everything, you know.  I don't want to ruin all the fun new things awaiting you."

"How about your favorite color?  Is it still purple-pink?  You can answer that, can't ya?"

"I still like pink.   It is one of my favorites.  I also still like purple."

"Uh-huh, what's your favorite thing to do?"

"I still like to draw, also painting" I wink, "you know art stuff.  And reading.  I love a good book."

A cynical look crosses the 10 year old me's face, "Why would you want to read- does someone force you to do it?  I hate to read."

"I know that's not true.  You just have a hard time reading right now. Don't worry you'll get better at it and discover the how far your imagination can take you with words.  You'll see."  I give a reassuring pat to her skinny shoulder.  In return her eyebrows come out of their furrow.

"I don't know what else to ask. I think you look pretty though.  I never imagined myself looking like you do.  I like your glasses too.  They'd be better if they were purple-pink." she peruses my face and her eyes get a twinkle of excitement when she notices my earrings. "I guess I get my ears pierced in the future too!"

"Yes," I touch one of the tangles, "we do and we learn a thing or two along the way."

"What do we learn?"

"I can't tell you. But you'll find out soon enough.  are you sure there's not anything else you want to know- that I can tell you?"

Giving what she must think is her most grown up look, she taps her chin a moment then stares me square in the face, "Are you happy?"

I try to calculate such a profound question from a 10 year old version of myself, but before I can give an answer she continues, "Because I don't know what's going to happen and you won't tell me, but as long as there is some happiness in our life- I think I could like about anything."

"There are many happy moments.  Too many to number.  So yes, I would say I am happy."

"OK.  Well, I'm going to go play outside now. Bye" She runs off to go climb trees and pretend to be a character from her favorite cartoon.

We are more than we could've imagined in our past.  We must not let the present cloud the future hopes and dreams or obscure the past lessons learned.  I think my 10 year old self would be both shocked and amazed to know what is ahead of her and who she becomes.  The 27 year old version is still discovering, dreaming and doing more than I could've believed.

"Lord let me see myself through your eyes and who you created me to be- Amen."

Swimming Lessons

I have been called out of the shallows
Beckoned into the Deep
But I hesitate
Not out of fear of drowning but of not knowing how to swim

Oh goodness...it's been a while. Recently my abandoned blog has been brought to my attention. I know every housewife, parent, married/single person has a blog out there today. I don't deem my words more enlightening or awe inspiring than any other. But that doesn't mean that some random person ma not find something worth gleaning from. I am beginning to learn a few things about myself. I am horribly introvert, but artistically thoughtful. Thus my need to find a way to express myself and my struggles to do so. The pen (or this case keyboard) is a wonderful tool to use to counter balance this. I also have things to share. I've lived a little, I've learned some stuff. Someone someday may find a little worth out of my ramblings. So I intend to share. Whether the world is interested or not is to be seen.

 I have hidden out in the shallow end of the pool too long. In my spiritual life that is. The Lord has been beckoning my to go deeper in my relationship. I gulp. You mean head towards the deep end? Sounds a little risky and I am a safety first, wall hugger at heart. The Lord also knows this. I know I make him chuckle and shake his head at me and my short sightedness. He won't force me. He won't nag me. He won't condemn me if I stay in the kiddy side of the pool of life. He will love me still. But He will offer me encouragement. He will show me what it can be like on the deep end, what I could be missing. He will wait for me. He will never stop calling me out to more risk, yes, but greater, rewarding relationship.

Thus my poem. That little five lines at the top. I am afraid of failure and disappointing others. Some of it is a little trauma induced, some a little self inflicted. But I know where I can be healed and made whole. The getting there is what I am trying to figure out. But not on my own! Oh no! I am terrible at directions (just ask anyone who been on the receiving end of my landmark no street name ways of driving!) But I know where to look and Who to guide me. I know I am in no way ready for the Olympic size pool of spirituality. But I think I have pushed off the shallow end side wall and started a decent doggy-paddle.

"Lord let me continue on this journey of discovering You more- Amen."